Monday, January 31, 2011

My First…

And like my Mom always used to tell me… I will always have a special love for her, because she was my first baby.
 the many faces of keona
I have a special love for all of my children, but as much as I see us butting heads in the future- I also see so much that we share. So much that we have in common.

While I was out at a photo shoot the other day, Keona was helping Scott around the house. He commented on how much she sounds like me when dealing with the younger kids. Not sure if that’s good, or bad…
Maybe both?

Yes, my baby’s growing up…


DSC_0571 copy

Playing around with settings and light…



I can’t believe that we are half-way through the school year already!?!?

One of my lovely children, (probably the 4 year old boy) activated the GPS on my cell phone, and I was billed for it without ever using it. The lady from Bell told me, and I quote, “Oh yeah, a two year old could have easily activated it if your keys weren’t locked. You should always have your keys locked when your cell phone is within the reach of children.” I wanted to tell her that “Bell” needs to come up with a more complicated way to unlock the keys, because that’s the first thing kids figure out! Never mind activating my GPS… But she credited me back, so I was much nicer than that.


I commented to the kids this morning, how glad I am that we homeschool on a day like today! It is freez-ing!

I am now in my flannel pj’s , fluffy socks, and ready to cuddle up with the kids under a blanket and watch Road to Avonlea! Then, I’m going to start one of my new books. So excited!!!

Sunday, January 30, 2011



She has always been a deep sleeper…


On our way out of church last night, Scott noticed that Ella had left her backpack by the nursery. He said, “Ella, you forgot your backpack!”

To which she replied, “You carry it!”

Dad, doesn’t listen quite like her brothers. After she had gone to pick it up, she looked up at me as we were walking in the parking lot and said, “Dad won’t carry it.”


I carried her in from the van on Sunday night and she was still fast asleep when we got inside. I set her down on the table, and she was flinching from the light above her. I threw her blanket over her head while I took off my boots and coat, and she just laid there. Perfectly still. Fast asleep.


Oh, to sleep like that.

Saturday, January 29, 2011


elElla, lying on the quilt that Scott’s grandma made for us when we got married. 


I’m still trying out some new things. Trying to figure out new things… I have some exciting news coming up soon!

But for now, I shall keep this post short.

I’ve spent most of the day hanging out with the kids, snacking with Jed, playing wii with the girls, and webkinz with Elijah.


Scott, is out playing paintball in the woods, in –20 weather, with some friends.

I don’t get that.

At all…


Anyhow, I’m off to make dinner for the kiddos!

Friday, January 28, 2011


DSC_0520 copy

So excited to receive my new books in the mail!


Now, which one to read first? :)

Because I was bored…

With all the bare, sandy feet, with a beach in the background, pictures on facebook right now… I thought that I’d throw mine into the mix- for all of us still here in the arctic.


This is where I spent my day.

All bundled up, running from one music lesson, to the next.

But no complaints here!

I can totally handle this hovering-around-zero weather.

A little Starbucks in hand always helps…


While I was bored, sitting in my van and all- I decided to play around with some settings on my camera.

I’ve never really tried out the “monochrome” mode- so I did.



(straight out of camera)

(for my Mom, who was extremely confused by the lingo when I said, “bokeh” in another post… :)


DSC_0424 copy 

The lighting is different in B&W mode. Much easier to end up with hotspots…


I can’t wait to experiment with it some more. Possibly, when I’m not stuck in the confines of my truck van.

This cheeky little monkey, kept trying to block my lens.


Neutral was interesting as well…


Not sure how I like it yet. As I said, I can’t wait to try them out in different situations!

I’m used to shooting in “standard” or “vivid”- so it’ll be nice to change it up a bit.

Ella, was just having way too much fun trying to dodge my camera…

She can be such a little pest! :) She makes the perfect “little sister”…

Thursday, January 27, 2011


DSC_0427Ella’s favourite boots…


For the first month that she wore these, she went around, proudly telling everyone that “Daddy bought her these boots”…

And indeed, he did.

She wears them everywhere! Seriously.

She rocks these cowboy boots with a puffy pink church dress.

And Daddy loves it.

Sadly, she has almost grown out of them now and I realized that I didn’t have a picture of them…

I want her to remember the first shoe purchase that Dad made… :)  

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


snowball fight

We picked up Uncle Robbie from school this afternoon, and Elijah (of course) started a snowball fight on the way into the house. Elijah, throwing one, single, snowball… turned into a half an hour, girls vs. Uncle Robbie war.

There are 4 girls. One Uncle Robbie.

You’d think that would give them an advantage, right?


They all came in soaking wet, while he was still bone-dry. Other than a few specks of snow in his hair.

The girls, say it’s because they have bad aim.

I bet the innocent man walking by, who got belted by one of Prayer’s wayward snowballs, will vouch for that.

They also claim, that Robbie is like “Buddy the Elf”…


I think that Jeddy and Ella are the smartest of the bunch.

They came inside, ate lunch, and then watched from the kitchen window. :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011



My 7 year old


It may be almost a month late, and I may have had to bribe him with a video game- but I finally got a picture of Elijah!

In this picture, he’s actually watching his little brother pull down a stick man statue he had made and throw it across the yard- but it’s still my favourite of the bunch. This stare, is not posed. It is so Elijah.


And notice what he’s wearing? Being that I’m such an Old Navy addict, my boys have never owned a track suit! They live in jeans and khakis…

This Christmas, their great-grandma, bought them both these little Air Jordan suits.

I LOVE them!


Maybe even enough to stray from Old Navy every now and again…


Not just for the boys, either…

I’m considering a pair of these babies for myself!


That was a joke people.

I wonder who would actually wear those?

And where???


Elusive and rare to some, misunderstood and untouched by others, joy is sought by all.


More than a moment's delight, joy would full-fill. Not a taste but a fountain, or a river, everlasting, and always supplying. Joy is that thing that the world sings for day after day, "but I still haven't found what I'm looking for...." And they won't. They can't. All that the world supplies: desire, and dream, and distraction, can never fill your cup. As much as drinking a cup full of air would quench your thirst, the world's offer can fill your soul. Yet, this world does contain a place for joy. You.


Joy is like salt. You can find it in most everything, and nothing seems to taste quite right without it, and yet we often forget to stop and realize its there. You know why your life tastes so bland, and empty? It's because you have no joy. It’s tasteless because your missing the ingredient that makes it all en'joy'able.


So then how can we find elusive joy? We've all met oblivious people, just gitty in spirit no matter what the circumstances, just full of a positively delightful attitude. It’s almost as though they were lying to themselves. Is that joy? Is it the emotional narcotic that blinds us from the grim realities of this black-hearted world? Joy is no narcotic or hallucinogen. Joy is the heart's response to good. Joy is found in good. Where there is no good, there can be no joy. When there is good, joy is the rejoicing that must respond to that good. Good happens on purpose, and so does joy.


When a wedding is good, there is joy. When the birth is good, there is joy. When the outcome is good, there is joy. When a life is saved, or spared, there is joy. When a gift is given, the giver has joy, because of the good in giving. When hope is fulfilled there is great joy. When a field yields good, in all aspects of life, the harvest of that field brings joy. Do you seek joy in life? Do good. For he who seeks to do good will never lack the reaping of joy.


It was Christ, who "...for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame..." doing good in spite of temporal cost. That good will never end its bursting of joy: for the greater the good, the greater the joy.


“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” – Psalms 16:11


There is no joy without the travail. Joy is the climax required by its opposite. If there were no risk of sorrow, there could be no joy. If there were no effort and cost required, what then is the reward? What rejoicing does the average demand? What victory is there without foe?


Therefore, travail tonight, anguishing labourer, and bring forth your righteous joy in the morning. Sweat, and toil and plow, children of men, for your fields must burst forth with new wine to rejoice thine heart in the harvest. What is an ache? What is a grief? What is crying of toil as you, a small vessel in a great tempest fight the dark bottomless depths of the storm? My friend, it must be done, else all is lost! We fight till dawn against this raging storm, and rise in the morning to nothing but victory over it! So toil friend, and give yourself this night, for just a few short moments from now, joy shall come in the morning.


“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” - 3 John 3:4


“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.” – Psalm 126:5-6


monster face (Ella likes to make us laugh with her new “Monster Face”… and it works.)


scott's sig

Monday, January 24, 2011



My Grandma’s favourite mug…


Last night I had a dream about my Grandma. (My Grandma passed away 7 years ago)


I dreamt that I was walking through a house that I have never been to before. It was spotlessly clean, and incredibly bright. I wandered into the kitchen, and my grandma was sitting there at the kitchen table with this mug. She looked up and said, “Jackie!!!” and stood up to give me a big hug. I remember being so confused in my dream- wondering how it was possible that my grandma was there. All the while, she was talking away and asking me how things were and telling me about her plans to go shopping. We went to a bargain store together (I can’t remember the name of it but we used to go there all the time when I was a kid) and we chatted and looked at little trinkets. When we went to leave, we grabbed some bags by the door, put our stuff in them and walked out. Apparently, we didn’t have to pay for any of it. There weren’t any cashiers…


We went back to what was her house in the dream, and I offered to make her some dinner. While I was cooking, I commented about how much fun I was having, and that she didn’t have any problems remembering things anymore.

She smiled and said, “I’m back to normal now! Isn’t it great?!”


After dinner, she asked, “Would you take me to see your Grandfather? And your kids? You have four of them now, right!?” (I did have four at the time that she passed away) I told her that I actually had seven now. Then, I explained to her about how I had just had a miscarriage, and she told me that everything would be OK and gave me a big hug. I remember not wanting let go of her- but she said, “Why don’t we go pack my bags, now!? We’ll take a trip to go see your grandpa!” Next thing I know, we were packing her suitcase and planning a trip to Toronto…

That’s the last thing I remember from my dream.

I think I must have woken up right after that, cause everything still seemed so real when I sat up in bed.


It felt like I had just gotten a big hug from my Grandma.

(usually my dreams consist of Scott falling down, or being squished by giant flying water bottles, and he wakes me up cause I’m laughing in my sleep, or the polar opposite- people I love dying.)


It was the best dream I’ve had in a long time.

I thanked God for it.

I also thanked Him that I really will get to see my Grandma again one day…


“Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;”
-Titus 2:13

i heart faces: innocent wonder

ella with toad and flowers

I love watching the innocent wonder of a child as they explore the world around them.

This picture, captures my youngest perfectly.

She is the epitome of a “girly-girl”- yet, she has two older brothers that she plays with all day long.


Here she is picking flowers, naturally. (from my garden none-the-less)

And yet, also carrying around the toad that her big brothers found.


Not to mention the super hero cape… :)


Sunday, January 23, 2011


2 copy

A cell phone pic of Keona eating leftovers from the men’s prayer breakfast.

This was right before she headed out to her first youth activity at church- a “Wii and pizza party.”

Is my daughter really a “preteen”???

Saturday, January 22, 2011


ella in snow

Ella, wanted to model for me today. This is her one calm expression. She gave me grumpy, crazy, “monster face”… then she stepped in a big pile of snow, got it in her boot, and wanted to go inside.

Her latest thing, is telling her brothers that they stink. As in, Elijah comes to sit beside her on the couch, and she says, “Go way! You stink….”

I’m assuming that she’s heard her sisters say tell the boys that- but she’s using it unnecessarily.

Jed’s new word- “assume.”

As in, “I assume that you and Dad had chips last night, cause I saw the bag on the counter this morning.”


Elijah, went to a men’s prayer breakfast at our church this morning with Scott. Well, actually, he rode with Grandpa and Robbie cause Scott left real early to help setup. When he left, his room was a huge mess. I had emptied his drawers and told him that his clothes needed to be folded properly, and put in the right drawers. As soon as he got home, the girls ran up to him saying, “Your room is such a mess! You need to go get it cleaned up, right now!” He begrudgingly went up the stairs, only to find out that the girls and I had cleaned and reorganized everything for him. From his clothes, to his books, to his toys.

Then he cried. And hugged me.

The girls laughed.

They love helping me with secret things like that, just to be a blessing to people. :)

They also love taunting their brothers.

(Hence the, “Your room is such a mess! You need to go get it cleaned up, right now!” comment…)

So I’ll just enjoy this while it lasts.


P.S. The backpacks were on sale at the Carter’s Oshkosh store!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Daddy’s Lefty…

This girl likes to pose for me. She’s the one who will come up to me and ask, “Mom, will you take some pictures of me!?”
To which my response is always, “Sure!”
the many faces of charity My only girl who turned out to be a lefty- my hubby, and both of my boys are also. So, she always feels it necessary to be on “Dad’s team”- even when everyone else is cheering for mom! :)

The middle one depicts her perfectly. Always laughing.

And here’s my fave…
Love her.


scott playing wii Ok, so I didn’t notice that my shutter speed was still set for night-shooting from the day before…


Regardless, this was my favourite picture from the bunch! He was slightly less enthusiastic when he noticed I was taking picture of him… (He was going all out sword fighting little miis- making the kids laugh hysterically.)

For anyone who has Wii Sports Resorts- Is sword play, not the most hilarious game ever!?

We were both in tears, laughing so hard the first time we played it.

My personal favourite part, is how angry your mii looks on the replay when it’s attacking another one.

Not that the violent video game is an influence on us or anything… but after playing this game, Scott decided to flip me over his shoulder and onto our bed. I think he broke my toe. I had my elbow holding his face down (he wouldn’t let go of my hands) and Prayer shouts, “Get him, Mom! Punch him in the face!”

Before I even had time to reply- she says, “I like to punch people in the face.”

She said this with a straight face. Like it was a completely normal statement to make.

Just as I went to ask her who in the world she has ever punched in the face???

She says, “I don’t ever actually punch anyone. But I imagine doing it.”


We both broke down laughing.


(You have to know Prayer... Her awkward sense of humour. Her blonde moments. The fact that she cries when someone else gets hurt…)


I think we may have to ban this Wii sword play game for a while.

It’s obviously a bad influence on our children.

I’m sure that Scott flipping me over his shoulder, and then being elbowed in the face while I bite his hand to get him to let go of me, had nothing to do with the whole “violence is normal” train of thought…

Thursday, January 20, 2011

My musician…

Who wanted her hair cut short again just to be “different”…
the many faces of eve
Eve is definitely the more serious one of the triplets. It took her a few minutes to just relax and give me some different faces. Bottom middle is definitely my fave! :)

Love my Evie-kins…


DSC_0312 Forgive the cheesy self-portrait (and my “cowgirl shirt” as the kids call it) Thursdays, are going to be crazy this semester.


It looked a little like this…


Get up, and make myself look presentable.

Breakfast for the kids, and a tea for me.

Wake up hubby, and spend a few minutes with him before he has to leave early for work.

Help kids with math while packing hubby’s dinner.

Take all the kids with me to Eve’s violin lesson.

Clean out the van while Eve is in her lesson.

Drive home, and throw something quick together for lunch.

Put Ella to nap, and find out half an hour later that she is still up there reading books.

Finish school with the rest of the kids.

Wake Ella up 10 minutes after she actually fell asleep, to get her ready to take Keona to piano lessons.

Try to do some reading in a van with 6 kids for half an hour.

Go shopping.

With all the kids…

Which isn’t really that bad- it just takes extra long cause they want to stop and look at everything.

Get home and throw something quick together for dinner while we do Friday’s school work, so that we can take the day off to hang out with Dad.

Eat dinner.

Clean up from dinner.

Sit down to relax and watch a movie with the kids.

Fall asleep on the couch 20 minutes into the movie…


Something like that anyways… :)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011



New backpacks…

Can't beat $5 each!


Our truck van ran out of windshield washer fluid yesterday on the way to church, and it was snowing pretty bad- so I stopped at a gas station to fill it up. I have never even popped the hood of this vehicle. I had to figure out how to do that first! Then, I was really hoping that wherever I was supposed to put the wiper fluid in- would be clearly labelled. Thankfully, it was. After filling it up, I closed the hood and the man pumping gas beside us looked at me. He looked away, and then did a double take. I laughed to myself when I got in the van and Keona said, “Mom, that man was giving you a strange look.”

Here I was, all dressed up in my heels and white dress coat- hair and makeup done, leaning under the hood of what looks like a work truck while I’m trying to dial my husband’s number on my pink cell phone.

No wonder he was giving me a strange look…

and she went on…

Jeddy, asked to do school work today.

That was new.

He also made my bed for me while I was downstairs.

(Not that I ever go downstairs without making my bed…)

Elijah, is almost done his first Hardy Boys book.

I found him lying on the floor of his room reading it before bedtime.

I was able to buy about 20 of them for 99 cents each at Christmas time.

Keona helped me cook dinner tonight.

She is capable of so much more than I give her credit for.

Prayer, decided that she was going to be Jeddy’s “buddy” today.

She dressed in a khaki jumper- he dressed in khaki overalls.

They both wore green shirts and called themselves “twins.”

Eve’s violin was out of tune. Again.

I stink at tuning violins.

Charity spent a long time practicing a song on the piano today.

She told me that she thought it was too hard for her.

She thought for a few seconds and then said,

“But I thought that the Christmas song you gave me was too hard at first too, and I learned that one. I guess you wouldn’t give me a song that you knew I couldn’t learn to play…”

And she went on practicing.


I made a mental note of that statement.


Isn’t that exactly what God expects from me?


“Lord, I thought that what you trusted me with- was too much. Too much to handle. But I guess you wouldn’t give me a song that you knew I couldn’t learn to play…”



And she went on practicing…

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


DSC_0251This past Saturday, we knew we were going to spend the whole day at home since we had been sick for the week. Knowing that I was going to be home all day with nothing to do- naturally, I decided that I had to find something to do. :) So, I dug through my fabric bin, found some scraps, and decided to make a dress for Ella. I was pretty happy with how it turned out. My plan, is to make some summer outfits for her from this fabric line.

I’m in love…

Monday, January 17, 2011



Scott, asked me to make him a New York Style Cheesecake on the weekend. So, I used 4 blocks of cream cheese, a bunch of sugar, some whipping cream, and- voila!


I totally blame him that I’m eating this right now instead of working out…

Sunday, January 16, 2011



At church, before choir practice.

We were actually early for once!

One of my plans for this year, is to take atleast one photo of all seven kids each month.

1 down- 11 to go

Notice how tall Keona has gotten?!?!

The triplets used to be so much closer in height with her. All of a sudden, she shot up.

Now Elijah’s catching up to the girls…

Big “thanks!” to great-grandma Joy, for all of the dresses in this picture. The girls are always excited to open her Christmas gifts. :)

Eve, calls her dress “the ladybug.”

She loves it.

This is the only shot where Ella has her tongue in her mouth.

I should have straightened Elijah’s tie.

Jeddy, really does adore his sisters as much as it looks like in this pic.

Prayer kept telling me that she felt fine- but she looked pretty out of it all morning.

Charity, loves taking care of Ella when we’re out. She can’t wait to be able to help in the nursery.

I made the girls take off their glasses for this picture because of the glare.

Then, I had to tell them not to squint.

Jeddy has stayed dry four nights in a row now.

So has Ella…

They both got a hot chocolate at Tim Horton’s.

Actually, Ella and Elijah got a hot chocolate. (The older girls were with Nana and Papa and Nadine…)

Jeddy, wanted “a tea like Mom”…

i heart faces: Winter Wonderland


“Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes…”


Ok, so snow really isn’t one of MY favourite things- though it does make for beautiful pictures!

We haven’t had many substantial snow falls yet this year- so I was really hoping for one before this challenge.

Thankfully, Saturday morning, we had what my kids were calling a “blizzard.”

My daughter, was more than happy to go out in it for a few shots! :)


Saturday, January 15, 2011




This same girl, who was so willing to run outside with me and take “snow pictures” this morning- was so sick tonight. Her body seems to automatically develop a rash, whenever it doesn’t like something. Apparently, it doesn’t like this stomach bug- cause tonight was the worse reaction I’ve seen yet. Her stomach was covered in hives, her fingers started to swell up until she could barely bend them, and then just as her face and neck started to swell, and I was getting ready to make a trip the the ER- she ran to the bathroom to be sick, and then she was fine! The rash started to disappear. She’s now sound asleep, and rash free.

Praying that she wakes up feeling better in the morning…

Friday, January 14, 2011



Wolfing down his cheeseburger…


Jeddy and I decided to make a quick stop for a snack before beginning our shopping trip. I love taking my kids out individually. Elijah and Jeddy, both love ringing things through at the self-checkouts.


Jeddy’s big thing right now is, “I’m growing up, you know!” That’s the reason he doesn’t want to watch treehouse, or the reason he wants to play Wii with the big kids- maybe I should try using that to get him to do school… :)  He guessed that Scott was “Like 100?” when we asked him how old Dad was. I didn't dare ask what he thought of me. Though, he is generally much nicer to me than he is to Scott. Every morning, he tells me that I look pretty. (What a way to start the day! ha!)

This week when I was sick, I came downstairs in my pyjamas and he said, “You’re pyjamas are really pretty, Mom. You look nice.”

I definitely did NOT look “nice.”

My guess is that he just wanted me to feed him…

Paint and Play-doh

I saw this idea on a blog, where you put different coloured paint into a large ziploc bag, squeeze out all the air, seal it, then let the kids mix the colours. Plus, you can write in it through the bag kinda like a drawing board.

So I thought, “GREAT! Paint, colour science, practice writing letters and number IN PAINT, and… NO MESS!”

DSC_0126 copy

All this was true, and kept Jeddy and Ella happy for about half an hour while I worked on geography with the older kids.

But then…

They wanted real paint.


Keona said, “Why don’t you let them finger paint like I did in kindergarten!?”

To which Jeddy replied, “Yeah! Why can’t we finger paint like Nona?”

So, I decided that we’d just do some hand prints.

I have hand prints from different ages of all the kids except Jed and El.


Before I knew it, I had given the new paper, 10 different colours, and the go-ahead to dive right in.

And so they did…


It only took about 5 minutes to clean up.

Man, I remember it taking A LOT longer when I did this with 5 kids- that were all 5 and under.

The triplets scared me away from doing so many things like this!

I just bought play-doh again, after swearing it off “forever” 4 years ago.

Having only two kids at this age, has opened up a whole new world of messes to make! :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011



Sorry for the crabby post yesterday. I didn't realize how pathetic it sounded until I read it today!

I really did laugh about my poor pizza splattering all over the kitchen floor. You know, after I slammed things around for a few minutes and took a picture while muttering under my breath. All Scott said in reply to my complaining text message about it was, “LOL!”

Payback for when he was watching the kids a few months ago while I was at a photo shoot, and HE dropped a whole pizza on the floor… I may have laughed at him. Just for a second or two.



After a crummy week of everyone being sick- what is more fun than making a huge mess!?!?



OK… So, I can think of a few things.

But this was definitely on the top of the kids’ list. :)


On a completely different note- I am already planning my trip to Starbucks tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.

Must take full advantage of those half price chai tea lattes!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011



That about sums up my day…


I finally caught the flu bug. Me along with 2 new children this morning. Seven down- two to go.

Yes, I flipped dinner right out of the oven- and onto the floor.

The crazy one’s turn…

Ok so she isn’t really crazy- but she does like to act crazy just for fun!
the many faces of prayer
Prayer had the highest average for our first quarter of school. Scott took her out to Sunset for breakfast, and when he asked her to pray for the meal- she said, “…and God, please help someone else to win for the next quarter so they get to go out for a breakfast with Dad too.”

Scott decided he’ll take her out as well as the winner next time.
Attitude and character is so much more important than grades…

Not my 365…

… but it was going to be.


Sometimes, Ella thinks that she can just climb right up onto my table (or counter) to draw.


I guess she kinda can…

She says, “Up, down, up, down.” As she draws an “m for mom!”

She likes to make funny faces.


She also likes to say, “No way!”

And, “Too bad!”

Mostly to Scott… when he’s teasing her.

She asks me to do her hair.


And she never takes off her new “necklace from Dad.”

(Even though I picked it out and bought it for her… ;)


I’m thinking of ordering a few more. They’re made from Baltic Amber and are proven to have some natural healing abilities. Check them out here. If only I had known about these while she was teething!


She has been the easiest to potty train, by far! With only one accident since starting, almost 2 weeks ago!

She also likes to sing. A lot.

She even makes up her own songs.

Sometimes- make that most of the time… we have not a clue what she is saying.


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