“cry… cry.. Cry. CRY! CRY!”

Written by Scott AKA Dad... :)

 

A triplet is losing. They don’t lose well. Yet, I think they lose better than they win…

“YES! OWNAGE!!” – Eve Polhamus

It’s genetic.

Lately we have picked up this game where we all have an equal chance of winning and the girls seem to really enjoy the challenge of playing with Mom and Dad. Settlers of Catan is probably the best board game fun we’ve had together in a long time if ever. Sadly, (or gently hilarious) the girls are evil to each other.

“If you don’t trade with me I will just knight you.” – Keona Polhamus

They will lose just to wreck the plans of their sister to frustrate her to tears. Today Charity was the one who cried… or was it Prayer? It may have been both. If you want to make one cry, simply see where they are plotting to build, go there, smile at them, and watch the fire burn. First it’s a “whhyyyyy”, then it’s a “noooo” then it’s a “SLAM!” as they smash their hand on the table, and finally, the face goes into the hands and everyone laughs at the misfortune. Then comes the “cry” chant. Priceless. If we were primates in the jungle, one of them would have pushed another out of a tree by now. Thankfully, we are a very forgiving family.

Meanwhile, the little kids playing on my PS3 in the other room, not so forgiving. “ElijAHHH!!!” Ella screams and Elijah hisses out his signature sinister laugh. “I’m telling Mom…. Mom! Elijah is killin me on purpose.” Co-op kids games… the person who came up with that idea had one kid… I better step in before someone throws a 50$ controller at somebody else.

Sure, yup, we may be just a tad competitive when it comes to our “family fun” time, but it’s been so great to see our kids mature into little people. Their tendencies and personalities excite me; each one having a different soul, with different likes and dreams and purpose. Yet all are so much a like, and so much in harmony. Our house is pretty funny at times. Today I think we could have won ten grand on AFV several times with just Prayer alone. If I’m bored, I just give the triplets sugar, and then watch the room erupt.

Prayer came into the living room this afternoon while someone was practicing the piano (which never stops… #earplugs) and she just starts a wiggling. Jac and I both gave her a crooked look and then out of nowhere she starts doing some crazy victory dance she saw on a game show.. and that to this classical music. Jac just started heaving in laughter. Sometimes I really do wonder if these children have a chemically induced mental instability. It just goes off. Like a kitten that sees a laser pointer light, triplets start a riot. I’m not complaining, just kinda… venting? … informing? … better yet – forewarning. If you come here, you may not be impressed, but it will leave an impression.

Eve was practicing some really nice music on the piano the other day, so I complimented her on how lovely it was and thanked her for playing. Prayer pipes up, “Oh if you like that one you will love this one…” followed by a chuckle, and a crazy grin, and Prayer sitting down to the piano. She then, from memory, played some freaky classical piece that, had it not been so funny, would have given me nightmares.

“What did you think?” She asked, as my eyebrows were still raised and I began to search for an exit.
”Um… I’m pretty sure that’s gonna give me nightmares… thanks for that.”

“No problem!”

 

The girl is destined for something… odd. Not quite sure what yet.

Some of these kids have taken quite a liking to our Toronto Blue Jays. We have a pretty healthy split down the middle as to who will watch.

Lily is trying to say everything. Even if she can’t say something, if you tell her to say it she will try and then just mumble out some craziness. Her hair is… enviable. It’s beautiful and insane and fun. Sometimes I just mess it up and frizz it up for fun. Then I watch as this giant head of hair with legs goes running through the house. I could snuggle her all day long, that is, if she could stay still for 30 seconds, which she cannot.

Is it just me, or does she resemble Richard Simmons here? -Jac

Tonight we took our black Clifford dog to the field nearby and let him run back and forth between Jac and I. I’m not sure if I have ever seen an animal move that quickly. Justus was running at me so fast that I thought for sure he would run right through me. Earlier, Charity, Eve and I had been playing catch in the back yard with a softball and the dog took it. I got sick of chasing him so I linebacker tackled him and pinned him while one of the kids grabbed the ball out of his gator sized mouth and ran with it. Needless to say, I am not fast enough to catch this dog. He is a lot of fun, and has a lot of spunk in short spurts. The rest of the time he just hogs the couch and sleeps on his back with his feet straight up in the air.

Tonight Jac and I went out for dinner and a sunset. It’s been too long since we did that. She is the love of my life, and my favourite person to be with. In fact, as I write this she is snoring beside me. I think I might join her.

Home

 

A few months ago, I started working on a personal project. I recorded something everyday that I was thankful for. I did this for one month, and then I chose my favourite clips and edited them to create a home video. The song I chose was a favourite of ours when we were dating. It’s one of those songs that brings back good memories the instant that I hear it. Though I hadn’t listened to it in a long time, I thought it was appropriate for this project.

Wherever my people are, feels like home.

 

Fresh Starts & Mothers

Here I am, up far too late once again. Tonight, I’m taking a step back and prioritizing things. As we try to finish up the school year, frustrations build, papers stack, kids rush, I hurry, chores are left undone, dozens of papers are waiting to be marked, and everyone suffers. I must admit that I have lost my temper more than once in the last few weeks. Tonight I realized, what’s the rush? Why am I stressing myself out about getting it all done? We have no deadline. I have taken the fun out of learning.

So tomorrow…

is a new day.

I’m so thankful for fresh starts.

We will enjoy music and art. We won’t stress about integers and gerunds. We will read books and talk about what we learned. We will slow down and enjoy the freedom that God has gifted us with.

The last few months have been a whirlwind and I feel like there is so much to catch up with! Instead, I will do a quick recap…

 

My Mom turned 50, and we surprised her with a girls’ road trip to Washington D.C.

Umm… yeah, excuse the juice cup!

We took wrong turns, drove through unnecessary mountains, shopped, saw monuments, learned new things about history, went to museums, enjoyed good food…

Had long talks, late night YouTube prank videos, and lots of tea! (We were very excited to near the border and have our Timmies again!)

Then… we surprised her again.

That was fun!

I almost gave it away so many times! The girls kept saying to me, “You’re lying to your MOM!” Haha… Yes, I am always willing to lie about good surprises and gifts!

I love you, Mom! I’m so thankful for all the memories we were able to make together, and I can’t wait until the girls are a bit older and we can do another road trip with all of them! I promise to map it out and not depend on my iPhone GPS next time…

I had a great Mother’s Day lunch with my family. Sadly, we watched the Leafs lose game 7 the next day. :( Charity and Prayer may have cried…

I thought about the fact that I have some seriously amazing women in my life. My Mom – of course! I also had two completely different, but equally wonderful grandmothers growing up. I still have a great-grandma that can out-work a lot of younger people I know… and I couldn’t have asked for a better mom-in-law. I mean honestly, I hear so many people complain about “mother-in-laws” but I love mine! Scott and I both agree- we have the best moms!

A Good Morning

(Written by Dad two weeks ago while Mom was at the CN Tower stair climb)

 

“Good mornin’ Dad.”

“Good mornin’ Ella.”

Ella is always the sweetest morning greeter. With her gentle sweet tone, and oft mispronouncing of words, Ella snuggles in beside and sooths the soul to start the day. I would keep her four years old for a couple more years if I could. Every girl has been different at this age, but all have been most pleasant and a delight to be with.

I don’t understand why everyone has to line the upstairs hallway just because it’s morning. Board games, Lego, books and everything else you can imagine fill the long pathway past each of the kid’s rooms towards the stairs. The problem is that these kids are early risers, while I am the one who works the night shift. By the time I’m up, they are pretty famished and bored. Such good kids!

Jaclyn is out this morning, our little food beggar Jed with her, so it’s up to me to begin the day. As I pass the boy’s door, the dog spots me. Like the sound of an arriving train, Justus’ tail clanks the bars of his nighttime cage. “Rooorooooo…” I can’t resist when he sounds so sad, unless he has just whipped me with his tail or stuck his nose into my food, then I can resist.

“Release the hound!” I say to Ella.

“Release the horse…” She responds. I can only assume she picked that up where she got the rest of her 10-year-old vocabulary and need to make fun of people. She thinks she is a 10-year-old girl and a boy and a princess all at the same time.

“Ella, can you open the shutters for me?” I ask. “Sure!” she replies as she skips over to the first window. From her tiptoes she can just barely reach the top row.

“I will do the top row El, you do the bottom.”

We go around the ground floor opening all the shutters, making it morning, revealing the mess I had forgotten we left here last night.

“Who made all this mess!?” I asked Ella. She just chuckles as she finishes the last bottom shutter. We begin to tidy up some things.

“Mom should be home any minute. Let’s clean up a little, then we can have some breakfast.”

Ella is such a helper. She runs the stairs six or seven times to bring things up to our room while I sweep a little. “Elijah, you put the shoes away. Charity, you let the dog out and feed him breakfast. Ella, you take these things up to my room and put them on our bed.” Together we tag team the mess and in a couple of minutes the clean house buried underneath is revealed.

“Mom’s home!” A voice calls out from up in the roost that is the girl’s front window. We are always alerted as soon as someone we expect makes the turn onto our street. Mom and Jed return with a coffee and some breakfast for me. What a sweet woman. She’s so sweet! As we sit in the living room and she and Jed start to tell us all the details of their adventure. She begins with, “Wow, there were so many people puking halfway up the CN Tower!” …just as I unfold the last corner of packaging from my Sausage McMuffin. Yum…

The children are chattering and the dog’s feet patter around the kitchen. No one is ever alone in our kitchen any more. As soon as you enter either a curious little person with an inquisitive pleading smile accompanies you, or a mammoth mooch with ears perked and drool dripping. You can guess which one is the dog.

“Up! Up!” Lily stands beside her high chair, sensing the coming meal. Her sweet little language is tonal. She has a sweet soprano twist up at the end of each word when she is being lovely, and a low-pitched grunt as she is being… difficult. It’s as though we got all the traits of each of the previous seven children jammed into this cute ball of love-hate. She is a chatterbox and sleeps in like Keona did. She raids the cupboards and climbs things like the triplets did. She loses her mind and smashes things with rage like Elijah did/does. She eats like an abyss, begs food and can take a hit like Jed did/does. She cuddles, plays with boys toys and flirts with her sweetness like Ella did. And then, with all of that, somehow she got my eyes and Jaclyn’s hair and build. She sings and tries to whistle. She yells, “DA! DA! DA! DAAAaaaaaaa!” When I come home. Everything she wants she points to, looks at you, and says, “sare” which of course means “share”. As soon as we taught her to share she started guilt tripping everyone else to share with her.

Breakfast is served! Everything we have that doesn’t take any work is available this morning. Some get donuts, some get pizza buns from last night, some get anything they can convince us to let them have. It’s so late anyways that we are having lunch in a short while. At least, that’s how I justify it as I sit on the couch and check Facebook.

Morning is special here. I love it. And as we settle into our Bibles for a little nourishment, or into our cups of tea and coffee for a little fellowship, we all enjoy a sweet start to the day together.

Thank you Lord for our home. Thank you for mornings together. Thank you for loving and teaching us to love.

He Cares About Me – I See it in the Details

You may notice the dates in this post are from February… I wasn’t ready to publish this post when I wrote it, but I promised God that if he took care of everything and brought me through this trial that I would give Him the glory. So, when I remembered praying that the other day, I felt like I needed to publish this post. I’m so thankful for a God of details who looks after me. There aren’t a lot of pictures. It isn’t a “pretty” post. It is a LONG post. It’s more of a journal for me to remember and share God’s goodness.

 

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“If we would remember the miracles God has done in our past, we would not so easily worry and fear when we face new challenges.” – Unknown

 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. “ 

- Isaiah 55:8

 

January 27th, we were surprised by a positive pregnancy test. This would usually be an exciting time for us, but I knew it wasn’t  a normal pregnancy. Figuring that it was a miscarriage, I booked an appointment with my doctor and prepared myself for the news. I was sent for an ultrasound and I could tell from the screen that there was nothing. No baby. Nothing. I called Scott, confirming what I had thought- that it was a miscarriage. Two days later, I went back to my doctor and she did another blood test. My HCG levels were going up. They had doubled from two days prior. Slightly confused, I decided to try not to think about it over the weekend. I was still bleeding, but now thought that maybe there was a baby… maybe I was just off on my dates.

 

February 11th , I was sent for another ultrasound. Another ultrasound with the same results… nothing. I mentioned to the technician that I had thought it was possibly an ectopic pregnancy due to the bleeding. She checked my tubes- nothing. In the meantime, a nurse came out to the waiting room, knelt down beside me and said, “This may be a strange question, but what’s your background? The other nurses and I were all watching you and making bets as to what your ethnicity is.” If she knew how often I get asked that question, she wouldn’t have thought it was so odd. It was kind of nice to laugh. To stop thinking and wondering for a few minutes while I laughed with the nurse before I went back to sitting in the corner of the waiting room anxious to find out what was going on.

 

My doctor was dumbfounded. She offered me the comfort that it may be too early to see the ectopic pregnancy, it may be a “molar” pregnancy, or it could be a rare type of uterine cancer. She sent me off with a promise of a referral to an OBGYN and the warning to go to the ER if I feel anything isn’t right. I spent the night reading everything I could find about ectopic pregnancies, choriocarcinoma, and molar pregnancies. My symptoms all fit an ectopic pregnancy… but I doubted it because each ultrasound had shown nothing. The next morning I woke up to excruciating pain. I had dealt with dull cramps for over  a month now. but this was different… it felt like I had been stabbed in my right side and my back ached so badly I could barely get out of bed. By lunch time, the pain had subsided and I decided to wait for a call from my doctor’s office. No call.

 

The next morning I woke up dizzy. I felt disoriented and the cramps were coming and going. I wanted to wait for the call to go see an OBGYN, but at the same time, I knew that if this was an ectopic pregnancy that they had missed- I could be bleeding internally and well on my way to going into shock. My instincts said that I needed to go to the hospital. Thankfully, I have a husband who encourages me to trust my instincts and he pushed me to go to the ER and get checked out. I spent an hour in a waiting room, entertained by all sorts of people. A man laying on the floor, yelling for his wife to call the police because no one at the hospital cared about him. A nurse that told him there were people in the back who’s hearts had stopped, and people who had stopped breathing, and that his leg pain would have to wait. He yelled at her and told her that he was going to die from the pain. Her exact words, “Well, when you stop breathing… come and let me know.” That set him off. She walked away and he pitched his beeper thing-a-ma-jig across the waiting room. Slowly, everyone moved away… A man with a purple finger. A lady with something lodged in her throat. An old couple that held hands the entire time they sat in the waiting room. Time passed, and I worried. I worried that they wouldn’t figure out what was wrong. I worried that after bleeding for a month straight, there was no end in sight. I worried about a baby. I hoped that everything would be ok. If there was one… I finally asked God for help. I asked Him for answers.

 

I was eventually called in and seen by a doctor that couldn’t have been much older than me. That’s never encouraging. I’m a fan of old doctors. Doctors that look like they could be my grandpa… This young guy saw my blood test results and said, “Oh good. Your numbers are going up!” Umm… where have you been for the last 5 minutes while I was explaining the situation? Numbers going up, without a baby, is a problem. He then proceeded to ask me if I wanted him to request an ultrasound. Have I mentioned how much I loathe young doctors? I digress…

 

I went for an ultrasound after drinking 2 litres of tap water, and an answer to prayer came. The technician listened to my story and said, “I’m going to do my very best to find answers for you.” Then I was sent back to the waiting room, where leg-pain guy had been moved back into a wheelchair and was still yelling at his wife to call 911. I texted my hubby to try and pass time. He had everything under control. I asked him to get the girls to put some rice on. Already done. I asked him to put the chicken in the oven. “Right on it,” he said.  Scott, is my best friend. When I needed a hug, he squeezed me tight until I let go. When I wanted to vent, he listened without trying to fix things. When I started to worry, he prayed with me and reminded me that God knew exactly what was going on. When I was so unsure of everything, he reminded me that I could be sure of him. That no matter what happened, what the outcome, what the trial, he was there. He always is.

 

So I got called back in and waited to hear from sniffly-nose, kid-doctor. He looked at his chart and very matter-of-factly, told me that I had an ectopic pregnancy in my right tube and I had two options… 1. An injection of methotrexate or 2. Surgery… I texted Scott right away and told him that what I thought had been confirmed and asked him to email our go-to doctor about the options. Our doctor-friend is another answer to prayer… I feel so blessed to have an experienced doctor, who is like a grandfather to us, who we can call with any health questions. He told us that the drug is an experimental chemo drug that kills the immune system. Ok.. easy decision then. He reassured us that if we waited and my tube ruptured, which it would eventually, that my life would be in danger. Unfortunately, there was no hope for the baby. At about 8 weeks there was no heartbeat and no options. Scott arranged for our moms to come take care of the kids so he could come be at the hospital with me. I am so thankful for family. What would we do without our families? God is good.

 

I had an IV put in. Several times… I sat there going back and forth between worrying and praying. I put on my best front and then Scott was there. A comfort washed over me as I saw him walk around the corner. He came over and kissed my forehead, and suddenly everything seemed alright. It was alright to cry, it was alright rest, it was alright to talk about how scared and upset I was.

 

Then came the next answer to prayer. I was sent into a room to wait for the doctor and when he came in, I couldn’t have been more relieved. First off, he wasn’t a kid! He was the doctor who had done my emergency c-section with Elijah when we had lost his heart rate. He was the doctor that had taken care of me when I went in with my miscarriage. He was the doctor my midwife raved about who had been trained in South Africa by midwives before coming to Canada. Three different traumatic events, in two different cities, at two different hospitals, at completely different times, and God chose to use him. He sat and talked with us. He didn’t give us any options like the kid-doctor. He said that I’d need to have my right tube removed. He knew our background and my history. No experimental drugs. He said that this was the best option. He sat and explained things and stayed to answer any questions we had. He squeezed my hand and then headed out of the room to prep for surgery “Right away”- those were his words. I waited for the nurse to leave the room (who happened to be a 200lb black man who had taken care of Elijah and Jeddy when they were in the hospital for asthma attacks- another answer to prayer! He is an awesome nurse and I felt like I knew him.) and that was when I lost it. Scott saw the tears start and he held my hands and prayed with me. There was a chance of needing a full c-section type cut, there was a chance of needing a full hysterectomy, there was a chance of needing a blood transfusion. So many if’s… and even though God was working in and through all these people for me- I was scared. I called and spoke with each of my kids and told them I loved them. I can be quite the worst case scenario type person. So for me, there was also a chance that I wouldn’t wake up.

 

We went up to the OR lobby and I waited in the hospital bed. Scott stood beside me and made me laugh. He joked with nurses, told everyone how many kids I had just to get a laugh out of reactions- he did a really good job at keeping me distracted. He kissed my forehead once again before they wheeled me away and in I went. The anaesthesiologist  told me to name each of my kids as he put me to sleep and next thing I knew I was waking up and asking the nurses for my husband. I didn’t know why they were laughing at the time, but apparently I woke up every few minutes and asked for him and then went back to sleep. He came in the recovery room and made fun of me. I kept asking if everything was ok… Another answer to prayer. Everything went as well as it possibly could have. My tube HAD ruptured- which explained the excruciating pain. Had I not gone into the hospital when I did, I could have died. There was minimal internal bleeding and they were able to do everything through laparoscopic  surgery. Three little band-aids were all I had to show for it. My iron didn’t drop at all, I was able to go home that night, and I only had to take pain meds for a day. My emotions have gone up and down a bit. This may not have been how I envisioned my child-bearing years ending- it was very abrupt and final. But the Lord knows that I sometimes, most times, need that. There were no ‘what if’s’- everything was very cut and dry. Which was another answer to prayer…

I don’t do well with what if’s…

My family - Easter weekend

I am so thankful for the promise that Christ’s resurrection brings!

 

God is so good.

I’m so thankful for His hand of protection.

And I’m so thankful for all of those little details and answers to prayer that let me know He was there.

I Heart Faces: Best Face of 2012

It’s so hard to choose ONE photo when I have taken hundreds of my own family, along with thousands of other people and their families. So I’ll just say that this is one of my favourites. :)

My little Ella-boo hates sitting still for pictures…

I convinced her to go for a walk with me one day during the fall. It was windy and freezing, but she co-operated for this shot. The very next frame she was pouting – but at least I got one!