A Good Morning

(Written by Dad two weeks ago while Mom was at the CN Tower stair climb)

 

“Good mornin’ Dad.”

“Good mornin’ Ella.”

Ella is always the sweetest morning greeter. With her gentle sweet tone, and oft mispronouncing of words, Ella snuggles in beside and sooths the soul to start the day. I would keep her four years old for a couple more years if I could. Every girl has been different at this age, but all have been most pleasant and a delight to be with.

I don’t understand why everyone has to line the upstairs hallway just because it’s morning. Board games, Lego, books and everything else you can imagine fill the long pathway past each of the kid’s rooms towards the stairs. The problem is that these kids are early risers, while I am the one who works the night shift. By the time I’m up, they are pretty famished and bored. Such good kids!

Jaclyn is out this morning, our little food beggar Jed with her, so it’s up to me to begin the day. As I pass the boy’s door, the dog spots me. Like the sound of an arriving train, Justus’ tail clanks the bars of his nighttime cage. “Rooorooooo…” I can’t resist when he sounds so sad, unless he has just whipped me with his tail or stuck his nose into my food, then I can resist.

“Release the hound!” I say to Ella.

“Release the horse…” She responds. I can only assume she picked that up where she got the rest of her 10-year-old vocabulary and need to make fun of people. She thinks she is a 10-year-old girl and a boy and a princess all at the same time.

“Ella, can you open the shutters for me?” I ask. “Sure!” she replies as she skips over to the first window. From her tiptoes she can just barely reach the top row.

“I will do the top row El, you do the bottom.”

We go around the ground floor opening all the shutters, making it morning, revealing the mess I had forgotten we left here last night.

“Who made all this mess!?” I asked Ella. She just chuckles as she finishes the last bottom shutter. We begin to tidy up some things.

“Mom should be home any minute. Let’s clean up a little, then we can have some breakfast.”

Ella is such a helper. She runs the stairs six or seven times to bring things up to our room while I sweep a little. “Elijah, you put the shoes away. Charity, you let the dog out and feed him breakfast. Ella, you take these things up to my room and put them on our bed.” Together we tag team the mess and in a couple of minutes the clean house buried underneath is revealed.

“Mom’s home!” A voice calls out from up in the roost that is the girl’s front window. We are always alerted as soon as someone we expect makes the turn onto our street. Mom and Jed return with a coffee and some breakfast for me. What a sweet woman. She’s so sweet! As we sit in the living room and she and Jed start to tell us all the details of their adventure. She begins with, “Wow, there were so many people puking halfway up the CN Tower!” …just as I unfold the last corner of packaging from my Sausage McMuffin. Yum…

The children are chattering and the dog’s feet patter around the kitchen. No one is ever alone in our kitchen any more. As soon as you enter either a curious little person with an inquisitive pleading smile accompanies you, or a mammoth mooch with ears perked and drool dripping. You can guess which one is the dog.

“Up! Up!” Lily stands beside her high chair, sensing the coming meal. Her sweet little language is tonal. She has a sweet soprano twist up at the end of each word when she is being lovely, and a low-pitched grunt as she is being… difficult. It’s as though we got all the traits of each of the previous seven children jammed into this cute ball of love-hate. She is a chatterbox and sleeps in like Keona did. She raids the cupboards and climbs things like the triplets did. She loses her mind and smashes things with rage like Elijah did/does. She eats like an abyss, begs food and can take a hit like Jed did/does. She cuddles, plays with boys toys and flirts with her sweetness like Ella did. And then, with all of that, somehow she got my eyes and Jaclyn’s hair and build. She sings and tries to whistle. She yells, “DA! DA! DA! DAAAaaaaaaa!” When I come home. Everything she wants she points to, looks at you, and says, “sare” which of course means “share”. As soon as we taught her to share she started guilt tripping everyone else to share with her.

Breakfast is served! Everything we have that doesn’t take any work is available this morning. Some get donuts, some get pizza buns from last night, some get anything they can convince us to let them have. It’s so late anyways that we are having lunch in a short while. At least, that’s how I justify it as I sit on the couch and check Facebook.

Morning is special here. I love it. And as we settle into our Bibles for a little nourishment, or into our cups of tea and coffee for a little fellowship, we all enjoy a sweet start to the day together.

Thank you Lord for our home. Thank you for mornings together. Thank you for loving and teaching us to love.

He Cares About Me – I See it in the Details

You may notice the dates in this post are from February… I wasn’t ready to publish this post when I wrote it, but I promised God that if he took care of everything and brought me through this trial that I would give Him the glory. So, when I remembered praying that the other day, I felt like I needed to publish this post. I’m so thankful for a God of details who looks after me. There aren’t a lot of pictures. It isn’t a “pretty” post. It is a LONG post. It’s more of a journal for me to remember and share God’s goodness.

 

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“If we would remember the miracles God has done in our past, we would not so easily worry and fear when we face new challenges.” – Unknown

 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. “ 

- Isaiah 55:8

 

January 27th, we were surprised by a positive pregnancy test. This would usually be an exciting time for us, but I knew it wasn’t  a normal pregnancy. Figuring that it was a miscarriage, I booked an appointment with my doctor and prepared myself for the news. I was sent for an ultrasound and I could tell from the screen that there was nothing. No baby. Nothing. I called Scott, confirming what I had thought- that it was a miscarriage. Two days later, I went back to my doctor and she did another blood test. My HCG levels were going up. They had doubled from two days prior. Slightly confused, I decided to try not to think about it over the weekend. I was still bleeding, but now thought that maybe there was a baby… maybe I was just off on my dates.

 

February 11th , I was sent for another ultrasound. Another ultrasound with the same results… nothing. I mentioned to the technician that I had thought it was possibly an ectopic pregnancy due to the bleeding. She checked my tubes- nothing. In the meantime, a nurse came out to the waiting room, knelt down beside me and said, “This may be a strange question, but what’s your background? The other nurses and I were all watching you and making bets as to what your ethnicity is.” If she knew how often I get asked that question, she wouldn’t have thought it was so odd. It was kind of nice to laugh. To stop thinking and wondering for a few minutes while I laughed with the nurse before I went back to sitting in the corner of the waiting room anxious to find out what was going on.

 

My doctor was dumbfounded. She offered me the comfort that it may be too early to see the ectopic pregnancy, it may be a “molar” pregnancy, or it could be a rare type of uterine cancer. She sent me off with a promise of a referral to an OBGYN and the warning to go to the ER if I feel anything isn’t right. I spent the night reading everything I could find about ectopic pregnancies, choriocarcinoma, and molar pregnancies. My symptoms all fit an ectopic pregnancy… but I doubted it because each ultrasound had shown nothing. The next morning I woke up to excruciating pain. I had dealt with dull cramps for over  a month now. but this was different… it felt like I had been stabbed in my right side and my back ached so badly I could barely get out of bed. By lunch time, the pain had subsided and I decided to wait for a call from my doctor’s office. No call.

 

The next morning I woke up dizzy. I felt disoriented and the cramps were coming and going. I wanted to wait for the call to go see an OBGYN, but at the same time, I knew that if this was an ectopic pregnancy that they had missed- I could be bleeding internally and well on my way to going into shock. My instincts said that I needed to go to the hospital. Thankfully, I have a husband who encourages me to trust my instincts and he pushed me to go to the ER and get checked out. I spent an hour in a waiting room, entertained by all sorts of people. A man laying on the floor, yelling for his wife to call the police because no one at the hospital cared about him. A nurse that told him there were people in the back who’s hearts had stopped, and people who had stopped breathing, and that his leg pain would have to wait. He yelled at her and told her that he was going to die from the pain. Her exact words, “Well, when you stop breathing… come and let me know.” That set him off. She walked away and he pitched his beeper thing-a-ma-jig across the waiting room. Slowly, everyone moved away… A man with a purple finger. A lady with something lodged in her throat. An old couple that held hands the entire time they sat in the waiting room. Time passed, and I worried. I worried that they wouldn’t figure out what was wrong. I worried that after bleeding for a month straight, there was no end in sight. I worried about a baby. I hoped that everything would be ok. If there was one… I finally asked God for help. I asked Him for answers.

 

I was eventually called in and seen by a doctor that couldn’t have been much older than me. That’s never encouraging. I’m a fan of old doctors. Doctors that look like they could be my grandpa… This young guy saw my blood test results and said, “Oh good. Your numbers are going up!” Umm… where have you been for the last 5 minutes while I was explaining the situation? Numbers going up, without a baby, is a problem. He then proceeded to ask me if I wanted him to request an ultrasound. Have I mentioned how much I loathe young doctors? I digress…

 

I went for an ultrasound after drinking 2 litres of tap water, and an answer to prayer came. The technician listened to my story and said, “I’m going to do my very best to find answers for you.” Then I was sent back to the waiting room, where leg-pain guy had been moved back into a wheelchair and was still yelling at his wife to call 911. I texted my hubby to try and pass time. He had everything under control. I asked him to get the girls to put some rice on. Already done. I asked him to put the chicken in the oven. “Right on it,” he said.  Scott, is my best friend. When I needed a hug, he squeezed me tight until I let go. When I wanted to vent, he listened without trying to fix things. When I started to worry, he prayed with me and reminded me that God knew exactly what was going on. When I was so unsure of everything, he reminded me that I could be sure of him. That no matter what happened, what the outcome, what the trial, he was there. He always is.

 

So I got called back in and waited to hear from sniffly-nose, kid-doctor. He looked at his chart and very matter-of-factly, told me that I had an ectopic pregnancy in my right tube and I had two options… 1. An injection of methotrexate or 2. Surgery… I texted Scott right away and told him that what I thought had been confirmed and asked him to email our go-to doctor about the options. Our doctor-friend is another answer to prayer… I feel so blessed to have an experienced doctor, who is like a grandfather to us, who we can call with any health questions. He told us that the drug is an experimental chemo drug that kills the immune system. Ok.. easy decision then. He reassured us that if we waited and my tube ruptured, which it would eventually, that my life would be in danger. Unfortunately, there was no hope for the baby. At about 8 weeks there was no heartbeat and no options. Scott arranged for our moms to come take care of the kids so he could come be at the hospital with me. I am so thankful for family. What would we do without our families? God is good.

 

I had an IV put in. Several times… I sat there going back and forth between worrying and praying. I put on my best front and then Scott was there. A comfort washed over me as I saw him walk around the corner. He came over and kissed my forehead, and suddenly everything seemed alright. It was alright to cry, it was alright rest, it was alright to talk about how scared and upset I was.

 

Then came the next answer to prayer. I was sent into a room to wait for the doctor and when he came in, I couldn’t have been more relieved. First off, he wasn’t a kid! He was the doctor who had done my emergency c-section with Elijah when we had lost his heart rate. He was the doctor that had taken care of me when I went in with my miscarriage. He was the doctor my midwife raved about who had been trained in South Africa by midwives before coming to Canada. Three different traumatic events, in two different cities, at two different hospitals, at completely different times, and God chose to use him. He sat and talked with us. He didn’t give us any options like the kid-doctor. He said that I’d need to have my right tube removed. He knew our background and my history. No experimental drugs. He said that this was the best option. He sat and explained things and stayed to answer any questions we had. He squeezed my hand and then headed out of the room to prep for surgery “Right away”- those were his words. I waited for the nurse to leave the room (who happened to be a 200lb black man who had taken care of Elijah and Jeddy when they were in the hospital for asthma attacks- another answer to prayer! He is an awesome nurse and I felt like I knew him.) and that was when I lost it. Scott saw the tears start and he held my hands and prayed with me. There was a chance of needing a full c-section type cut, there was a chance of needing a full hysterectomy, there was a chance of needing a blood transfusion. So many if’s… and even though God was working in and through all these people for me- I was scared. I called and spoke with each of my kids and told them I loved them. I can be quite the worst case scenario type person. So for me, there was also a chance that I wouldn’t wake up.

 

We went up to the OR lobby and I waited in the hospital bed. Scott stood beside me and made me laugh. He joked with nurses, told everyone how many kids I had just to get a laugh out of reactions- he did a really good job at keeping me distracted. He kissed my forehead once again before they wheeled me away and in I went. The anaesthesiologist  told me to name each of my kids as he put me to sleep and next thing I knew I was waking up and asking the nurses for my husband. I didn’t know why they were laughing at the time, but apparently I woke up every few minutes and asked for him and then went back to sleep. He came in the recovery room and made fun of me. I kept asking if everything was ok… Another answer to prayer. Everything went as well as it possibly could have. My tube HAD ruptured- which explained the excruciating pain. Had I not gone into the hospital when I did, I could have died. There was minimal internal bleeding and they were able to do everything through laparoscopic  surgery. Three little band-aids were all I had to show for it. My iron didn’t drop at all, I was able to go home that night, and I only had to take pain meds for a day. My emotions have gone up and down a bit. This may not have been how I envisioned my child-bearing years ending- it was very abrupt and final. But the Lord knows that I sometimes, most times, need that. There were no ‘what if’s’- everything was very cut and dry. Which was another answer to prayer…

I don’t do well with what if’s…

My family - Easter weekend

I am so thankful for the promise that Christ’s resurrection brings!

 

God is so good.

I’m so thankful for His hand of protection.

And I’m so thankful for all of those little details and answers to prayer that let me know He was there.

I Heart Faces: Best Face of 2012

It’s so hard to choose ONE photo when I have taken hundreds of my own family, along with thousands of other people and their families. So I’ll just say that this is one of my favourites. :)

My little Ella-boo hates sitting still for pictures…

I convinced her to go for a walk with me one day during the fall. It was windy and freezing, but she co-operated for this shot. The very next frame she was pouting – but at least I got one!

Lily’s 1st year

We didn’t forget to include Lily in our review of 2012… She just didn’t have much to say. :)

I loved putting together this quick overview of her first year…

click to enlarge

2012 in Review

 

 

Ella

My favourite part was going to that park in London… and going down the slides and swingin’ on the swings. And the horses… Riding on the horses was my favourite too.

(the park that was her favourite! lol)

Jeddy

Getting a new dog because I like to play with him. Going on rides at Wonderland. Getting a new church. It was fun going to North Bay. I liked going out fishing, catching the frogs, and roasting marshmallows. Our baby getting to turn 1. And going ‘bogganing (yesterday) cause it was fun and the big bump at the bottom of the hill went, “Waboom!” and bumped us in the air!

Elijah

On the girls’ birthday, (which was one of my favourite parts of the year) the four girls were having a party… So that means that there were going to be lots of girls. So many that they freaked me out! So when the Browns came, me and Jeddy  asked if we could go to their house with them. (Of course, the girls were at the party) They said, “Yes!” So then I wasn’t scared anymore.

Another one of my favourite parts of the year was deputation. We went to lots of churches!  I liked going to North Bay. we had some friends there that we hadn’t seen in years! So we slept at their house. And we went fishing with Mr. Brooks! In Niagara Falls and London, we stayed in hotels. It was fun! We got to see the Streeters too! One of my last favourite parts was when we started a new church on September 30, 2012. On the first day, Me and one of the boys met eachother. His name was Luke and now he’s one of my best friends.

We went tobogganing yesterday. I was scared at first. Then I went down. Jeddy chickened out. I went down for the 15th time and when I got up at the bottom, a boy crashed into me and flipped me. Then we saw some friends!

2012 is over now and 2013 is just starting!

Prayer

I’m so thankful God has blessed us with another year. We’ve had so many joys throughout the year. My favourite part of this year was our deputation, along with starting Hope Baptist Church. Traveling all over Ontario and seeing friends from camp- another favourite. Seeing Niagara Falls for the first time was awesome! Watching the mist and boats… Dad got a hilarious new hat!

Another favourite was when we all went to a surprise birthday party for Nana. We decorated the house and I saw some family that I don’t think I’ve met before. When we were standing by the door waiting for Nana to come in, I noticed the hundreds of pairs of shoes and I thought, “Wow! That’s a lot of shoes!” We also had one of Mom’s favourite kinds of cake- Costco cake! Dad went to pick up the cake at one Costco but it was the wrong one. So he had to go the other Costco! I don’t know where they are… He still made it to the party on time.

I gradually thank God for all these joys in my life as we open up to a new year in 2013.

 

Eve

My favourite part was Niagara Fall. I liked holding the Birds at Bird Kingdom. I made new friends at the church there too. I also liked going to Lindsay in the country. I made friends there too and I liked playing with her in her club house. I also liked going to North Bay. We had a great tea party! I liked seeing the bears there too. I liked going to the church in Belleville. I met two friends there too. I liked when new neighbours moved in. We actually have girls our age to play with. And I like our new dog, Justus! He is so huge- I like everything about him.

(Eve’s pictures from her very own camera!)

 

Charity

One of my favourite parts of this year is having a baby sister that I can play with everyday. She is so cute! She even cuddled me the other day. I also now have a loud, large, baby Great Dane. He is a lot of fun to chase and grab a hat from! Distributing flyers and starting our church was… interesting. During deputation, I made a lot of new friends. I even have a new penpal! For the first time ever, I went to Niagara Falls! It was fun to walk by the beautiful falls, and we got to ride ponies! I also made it to the finals of the lassoing contest at the church. There are many more things to tell, but I think I have done enough. I had a lot of fun at Easter though… when Prayer flipped right in front of the window at Dollarama and everyone was staring. I love you, Prayer! Goodbye 2012… Hello 2013!

Keona

2012 was a truly amazing year. God blessed us so much. We’ve done so many things! I went to my 1st youth conference. We went on deputation and started a church. (It was my first year as a “PK!” – pastor’s kid) We went to Wonderland, North Bay, and so many other places. Lily turned one. I went to camp Y.E.S. as a “kid” for the last time. (This year I will be a “teen”) I went into my last year of school before high school. (So many “this was my last year” events)

Once again we had an amazing December, filled with joy and blessings – AND – tobogganing! Yesterday, for New Year’s Eve we went sledding on a huge hill at a golf course, and the Pallants (some friends from church) came too! It was amazing how it happened. They like in Markham, yet they came down to Pickering looking for a place to go sledding! So we got to sled with them for a half an hour. During that time, I went a hill on a different type of sled, it tipped, and I backwards summersaulted onto my head – which hurt – a lot. Then, as I was trudging back up the hill, with my sore head down, Eve comes sledding down the hill out of nowhere on a “death machine” (a disc). As I tried to leap out of her path, and my right knee went up and hit her in what I thought was her shoulder, it turned out to be the side of her head. OOPS! – sorry Eve. Oh, there’s one more thing, Mom missed it all! But apparently she can still picture it in her head – and she laughs every time.

Another thing in 2012 that I wouldn’t have to write down to remember – In earlyish December all of us were getting our very own day to be sick. Well Sunday turned out to be my day, and as I was standing there getting my hair done, feeling a little sick, and quite weak, everything started to grow fuzzy, and then dark, and then everything went black. Other than my sight, there was no difference in the way I felt so I thought it was my imagination… so I waved my hand in front of my face… I couldn’t see it! So frantically I told Mom, “Mom, Mom! I can’t see anything! I think I need to sit down!” So I sat down. Everything began to come back, then disappeared again, then returned again quickly. I thought I had passed out, but apparently I had remained conscious the entire time – about 5 minutes. It was the first time I had blacked out – I’ll never forget it.

I just remember one more thing – My Birthday.

The triplets and I decided that we would share a party, invite over 30 girls, and paint nails, drink tea, eat cake, and lots of junk food, and hang out with all of our friends. Some people couldn’t come, and some lived to far away to invite, but we had a great time.

My actual birthday was on a Sunday, and we were in Hamilton for our deputation that day. The churches we visited made me feel very special and I had a great day.

(at camp)

I thank God for making 2012 such a great year for us, and pray that this year will be too!

Christmas Day

 

The excitement is over. The tree and decorations are packed away until next year.

And today…  I took a nap.

On Christmas morning, I got up at about 6am to put the turkey in the oven. I had seasoned it the night before so there was no need to turn lights on or make a big ordeal. I went downstairs half asleep, popped the pan in the oven, and with my eyes still half closed I stepped around the corner and bumped into a little body. In the pitch black.

“Whatcha doin, Mom?”

I screamed. The dog barked. Scott didn’t even bother to shout and see if it was a burglar or something. When I got back up to bed and my heart was still racing, he asked what the screaming was about. At least the dog had my back…

On to the fun part now!

These kids were spoiled. Under and around our tree was refilled 5 times. We spent literally hours watching them open presents over the last few days. Some of us enjoyed it. Some fell asleep during it. Scott… :P

We had family and friends over for dinner once again. Have I mentioned how much I love hosting big dinners? The girls were a huge help! Keona made bread, Charity and Eve cleaned and vacuumed, Prayer helped me peel and chop two bags of carrots and 10lbs of potatoes, and Scott cleaned the bathrooms! Which totally makes up for sleeping through presents.

My mom and mom-in-law were both a huge help in the kitchen as well! Between us all we managed to feed 25 people and still have lots of leftovers. God has been so good to us, how could we not share what he’s given us with others?

Enjoying the family time is always my favourite part. We had tea, the guys played some video games, and the kids enjoyed all their new gifts. Lily was getting slightly fussy. I think Danica may have been wondering what her problem was here…

I hope everyone had an equally wonderful Christmas with people they love.

Looking forward to the New Year!